My debut book

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Most people that know me are aware that I’m in the process of writing a book. I’ve completed the first couple of drafts and it’s currently with beta readers who will tell me all of the many, many places where I’ve gone wrong.

I’ve been thinking of it as my debut book, but I recently realised that there is actually already a book on my shelf bearing the text ‘by Matthew Waldram’. Truth be told, I had completely forgotten about it until recently and now I present it to you in all its finely illustrated glory.

The Fox and the Bear, by Matthew Waldram…

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Whaddya think about that then? Not sure if it’s clear, but it’s held together by string.

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Just to be clear, the above image shows a bear standing outside his treehouse launching a coconut at a fox. So that’s all fine.

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And there it is, in its entirety. I realise that the handwriting is pretty shoddy — I’d like to argue that HEY I WAS FIVE, BACK OFF MAN, but it really is no better now i’m 32 — so I’ll transcribe it for you below.

Once there was a bear and a bad fox. The fox was clever and the bear was a good fighter. The fox and the bear hated each other. The fox went for a stroll and the bear was trying to make a treehouse. The fox said are you still on that? I finished hours ago. The bear said “stop” but the fox didn’t. So the bear shouted “shut up” but he didn’t. So the bear chucked a coconut at the foxs head. It went bonk on his head. This started a fight. The bear snapped his teeth and that was the end of the fox.

The sun smiled.

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