Numpties on phones


Although I am a fan of the advances that mobile technology has brought to the way that we all interact with one another — how we connect with our networks — I do sometimes think that these advances in virtual socialising have come at the expense of certain real skills. The sort that we need in order to survive in the real world. Like — just off the top of my head — walking. That’s just one example: Walking. Most of us use that one every day don’t we? I’d say that — as a species — things would be pretty different if we’d never considered walking to be an important skill to evolve. Worms never bothered, and look at them. They eat soil*.

So here’s a thought: if you’re walking — if you’re walking through, say, Southend high street on a busy Saturday when they’re about to turn on the Christmas lights —and you’re so busy texting that you bump into somebody else who is also texting, then you’re both too fucking moronic to own a mobile phone.

If you’re the sort of person who would prefer to update Twitter from your mobile phone than not barrel into somebody and send them on their arse, if you’d rather take the chance of stepping out in front of a car just so that you can upload an amusing photo of an illiterate cat onto Facebook, then you’re not qualified to even make that decision in the first place.

Just take the phone back to the shop where you purchased it, explain that you’re too stupid to own it, and give it back. There may be a bit of a queue, but it really is worth you taking the time. Hand it over, collect the refund, and then use the cash to buy something less annoying for those of us trying not to get bumped into.

Maybe buy yourself something nice with the money — maybe something that you’ve never seen before. A book, perhaps.

*Not a Science Fact.


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